Why is it that I get ill whenever I start a remodelling project on the house. Am I just lazy and don't like to work? I feel extra tired, start feeling like I have a touch of the stomach flu, and just have a hard time in general keeping the project going.
It was worse this time. There is so much change right now, I'm extra sensitive (see http://sojournband.blogspot.com/2006/08/last-hoorah.html). I was with Sojourn for 14 years, and with that being done and investigating being a full time missionary, I'm already stretching the limits. So I decided I was going to paint the living room for my wife's birthday. We threw out our old ratty couch, stuck my orange lazy boy chair in the basement, moved the TV into the basement, and moved all the other furniture into the center of the room.
It hit me yesterday that all of the places in the house that I use to sit and feel calm are in our living room, and that's just been proverbially "blown to bits".
It's times like this that I really do hate being an Aspie. The Neurotypical brain just manages a persons environment in the background so that Neruotypical isn't aware of it much. As an Aspie I need to create that order externally. I'm not about to be so much of a prisoner that I avoid all distressing environments. So I know for few days I'm going to feel like crap, and then when it's done I can go back to feeling a bigger sense of calm.
I think when of my biggest helps is my faith in Jesus Christ. The Bible and prayer are two chief ways to recent and calm, and they can never be taken away.
Adam
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