Aug 21, 2007

Gun fights, and sword fights Part I

A person who is an Aspie asked me if I ever think about violence.

When don't I? That sounds bad, doesn't it? In my opinion, we Aspies are "What If?" machines. What if some one jumped out of the bushes and tried to attack me? What if a gun man broke into my home and threatened my children?

Last Friday some guy jumped out of the bushes about two blocks from my home and snatched a girl. They found her later that day, but I don't believe that they have found the perpetrator. All I could think about that day is what if some one snatched my child? There where many scenarios in my head and none of them where kindly.

Our minds work in three dimensions, and in graphic detail. In a job, that can be an excellent asset as an Aspie mind can actually picture something happening and look for problems. I crashed on my bike once because the pavement was slick. I strained my wrist. So after that most of the time as I'm riding I was playing crash/fall scenarios over and over in my head.

The second time I crashed was by hitting a section of pavement that was under construction, but this time the scenario played back. I analyzed and executed and only got banged up a little. Later that summer, I accidentally ran straight into a curb, this time I executed an exaggerated curving roll into the crash and ended it up by jumping into a standing position.

The incessant what if scenarios in my head, helped me prepare for a crash and avoid getting hurt.

So, the "what if" thinking happens a lot. Sometimes it has to do with war fare and violence.

It can become an obsession, and it can get me down, but it can also be a tool.


Aug 9, 2007

Wine or Shine

I was riding my bike to work this morning. When the storm system go through, I get extra aches and pains. I have a mild case of Fibromialgia. I'm starting to wonder if that goes hand in hand with the Autism Spectrum.

Because of my over aroused sensory system when I was riding past a sprinkler system that was misting some ones lawn, each drop that shot at me hurt a little. Of course then it began to rain and I was just wet all over. The rain was nice and warm though.

I don't like being wet.

I shouldn't have to ride in the rain.

No one else I know has to ride in the rain.

Those were some of my thoughts. That's when I decided to do some serious self talk. You see, some of the people I admire accomplished great things for the societies around them with less resources than they needed and with obstacles and difficulties at the same time. The didn't wine about it (at least not in the books they wrote).

Instead their attitudes and actions made them stand out from the crowd. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was imprisoned in 1943 because he helped fund the escape of Jews from Germany. He was executed in 1945 after he was traced back to a plot to overthrow Hitler. Bonhoeffer never let his circumstances define who he was, and he took solace in the truth that true freedom (i.e. inner freedom that comes from trusting Christ) can never be taken. Inner freedom can not be taken away by other people or even by death. He decided to SHINE instead of WINE.

He must of had bad days, painful days, days when he had nothing good to say to anyone. Everyone has those days. Don't you think there were days when he was mad at God for his circumstances? Those, however, where the exceptions. The general flow and direction of his life was to affirm and act upon the basis of His Christian principals and inner freedom.

I have other heros that I could write about later. I have to admit, I have yet to read any of Dietrich Bonhoeffer's books. I know the basic outline of his life and some of his most famous quotes. Initially I've been afraid to read his books, because I think they will force me to a new level of living. A level at which I want to live. Changing levels is always painful.

Now, with missions prep, I have limited time for reading since I have quite a bit of assigned reading. You'll know if I'm reading one of his books or a book about him. His best known work is "The Cost of Discipleship". You'll know if I'm reading it, because I'll have to tell you about it.

Anyway, back to shining.

Being wet is a temporary situation. So is everything in life, including life itself. It is our soul/spirit that is eternal. Eternity is huge in comparison to the hundred or so years we will live in this life, so even the worst trial in this life can be considered a momentary affliction when placed in view of eternity.

So, my fellow Aspies, what areas can we learn to endure and move on. How often are we trapped by our condition, unwilling to extend into areas of discomfort. Maybe it's time we strive against the odds and against our circumstances and push past into areas that make us uncomfortable. I think it's time that we try that thing that scares us. Or try a little bit of it.

And while we are trying it look for better and more effective ways to deal with the stress, but don't run from the stress of trying new and uncomfortable things. Endure and move forward in life, since the pain is only a momentary reality.


Aug 7, 2007

Aspies Inc. Blog

I want to find out more about my readers, by using a series of polls. Look on the side panel of this blog for the first one. These will be simple anonymous polls, that will give me an idea of how often readers are checking for new content, and what other kinds of events or information will be helpful to you.

As always if you have questions or comments, click on the comments link at the end of any of the posts. I get an e-mail whenever a comment is posted and will post a response either in that same comment section or within the body of another post.

I want to make sure this blog is useful to those that are reading it, so my first poll is intended to find out how often readers check in to look for new posts. In the past I've thought about locating other writers so that there is more posts and greater variety. I keep a journal too, becuase writing helps me keep my emotional and intelectual sense of balance. Well, one day I just started writing a fictional story that contained elements of my life in it. It allowed me to document thoughts and reactions that I've had to life without trying to acurately record real events. It also lets me interact with my thoughts and feelings in a creative way.

I wrote one chapter and then misplaced my journal. My wife found my journal in a suitcase so when I have some freetime, the next chapter is in my head. I'm wondering if I should try my story out on you'll here in this blog or just start it up in a different blog. It's the type of thing for which I might go three months without any posts and then post something 10 days in a row.

It might be more interesting to have two or three other Aspies writing here in this blog. Multiple perspectives may generate a more useful blog.

Anyway, as you are reading this post, please help me by completing the poll on the right side of the screen. Also post any comments or suggestions to the blog. If it doesn't make sense how to do that, please feel free to e-mail me at

I want to make Aspies, Inc as useful as possible.


Aug 2, 2007

What should I say?

There are so many times, when not talking (i.e. holding my tongue) is best for everybody. I was in a meeting at work and a coworker kept interrupting me. This individual dominated the meeting. Any question asked the answer came from this person. Every time I tried to ask a question or make a comment, I got cut off. This individual has handed in a resignation, and will be leaving in about a week. It's said that quite a few people were happy this person resigned.

I kept reminding myself that God made this person and I therefore must treat this individual with value and respect. I could not determine how it could benefit anyone or anything other than to let of some irritation. So I held my tongue. I didn't say all the stuff that I could have justifiably said.

In the end this person would have written me off as inferior, and would have moved on, but I would have been viewed as a hot-head.

What is the lesson for Aspies. Let everything you say be carefully considered before you speak. Be certain that you are speaking for the benefit of others or to enjoy a relational conversation. If what you are saying is spoken in anger, retribution, or just because you have the information in your head, keep it to yourself.

I'm not always successful, but that's what I did today.