Nov 9, 2006

Little Tiny Meltdown

Yesterday I was running late for work, but I still wanted coffee. I had the bright idea that I would make a pot of coffee. put some in this small metal thermous that I have, and strap it to the bag holder on the back of my bike. I've done that before.

I couldn't find the thermous. I new if Marge were here she could find it in less than five min. In my case, if it has been moved from its spot I can't always see it. Sometimes, things have been moved from the place were I normally put them, and are now in plain site. Just in a different place. I've been known to look right at something and not recognise it for what it is, because it is not where I expected it to be.

I was frozen, I had so planned on that coffee. I knew it was illogical, but it threw off my whole morning. I even castigated myself with sayings like, "Grow up jr. it's just coffee." That just made me angry.

So, I put the pot of coffee in the fancy caraf that we use (which I can not take on my bike), and pedalled off to work.

Sometimes I hate Asperger.

So, last night I got home from work, and my wife said, thanks for making me the pot of coffee. I explained that I was not so nobel as she thought. She found my metal thermous in under five min.

See, if I were a neurotypical, things couldn't be invisible on me. I could find what I want, when I wanted to. O.K., I know, a bunch of my neurtypicals are patronizingly saying, "Oh, we all loose things once in a while."

I hate it when people do that. In fact, I've heard it so much, I can hear it when they aren't saying it.

O.K. This post is nothing but an Aspie rant.

And I'm running late for work.




  1. Golly. If I had a nickel for every time I couldn't find something in plain sight... most recently it was the aluminum foil. I *only* looked in the drawer it belongs in. When it was not there, I went to the neighbor's and borrowed some. When I came in the door my daughter asked me why I was borrowing foil from the neighbors and I told her we didn't have any. "Yes we do," she said, pointing to the kitchen counter where indeed there was a whole box of foil. Yep. Asperger's does have its moments, LOL

  2. Aspergers is hard. I was diagnosed with it too.
    Yes neurotypicals demand you do their advice that seems so easy.
    "Everything in moderation" is one of their favorite sayings.
    True but when I got an intense tunnel vision or nothing at all. I can't do that middle moderating part.

  3. In art or history books that "intense tunnel vission" is often called "inspiration" or "genius".

    I'm told that Handel wrote the Messiah in a "white heat" of inspiration. It seems Einstien spent most of his life in an "intense tunnel vision" and changed the world. There are many other people like this.

    Anyway, thanks for your comments megan. And, by the way, thanks to sister sunshine. It helps having the interaction.

  4. I've stumbled across your blog, Adam, and am now reading in chronological order (is there any other way for such postings?). I've resisted the urge to say "me too" in quite a number of postings. I have to say that at least 90% of what you've talked about, hey, that's me!

  5. Boomer, if it's you, than "me too" would be true. Sometimes just not being the only one is a relief.